Who REALLY is Vinay Kumar?

Exactly. For those who don’t follow cricket closely enough, Vinay Kumar is a fast bowler presently very much in favour with the captain. He is also one of the heroes of today’s (or yesterday’s ...depending on when I post this) spanking of England at the Kotla.

But is that it? Is that all we need to know? Do we really know enough about this guy to let him handle one of the two new balls for our NATION, no less? Well, here is the truth, guys; here is what you NEED to know.

Vinay Kumar isn’t even his real name. According to his passport, his name is Vincenzo Frederique’ Corradi. You might be tempted to think that he is Italian, but he is not. He is from San Marino, and he continues to hold his San Maronian or San Maronesean or whatever citizenship. San Marino, as you know, is hardly a country. Actually it’s a city state sort of a thing. No prize for guessing what the capital of San Marino is – Its ‘San Marino’. Since its hardly a country, Vinay Kumar or ‘Vincenzo Corradi’ is hardly a citizen of anywhere. Since he is not a citizen of anywhere, technically, he does not exist. Why then is he playing for India? Wake up people.

Scandalized already? There’s more. On his CV, Vincenzo Corradi or Vinay Kumar, claims that he graduated from the MRF pace academy of Chennai. We contacted the academy’s head coach Dennis Lille to verify this claim. Here is what Dennis Lille had to say – “I dun ‘member him, mayte” (Irrefutable evidence no.1). Vincenzo Corradi or Vinay Kumar has lied to the entire nation. There is a high probability that he never was at the MRF pace academy. And we are letting him play for India? Wake up people.

Sacrilege. Vincenzo Corradi or Vinay Kumar has a Somalian girlfriend. He has hidden this fact from the NATION. Sacrilege even more. His girlfriend’s father’s name is Ali Al Talib. Talib is singular for Taliban. Bloody hell, he has got something to do with the Taliban. And his daughter is dating our new ball bowler. Is this what we really want? Wake up people.

In 2002, Vincenzo Corradi answered the call of nature in public view on a street in Bangalore. He was held by the local police for 22 minutes for doing this. Of course, our media never reported this. And this guy is bowling lock-in-step with Zaheer Khan? Wake up people.

Recently a former secret service agent from San Mario published his tell all autobiography. The book mentions that Vincenzo Corradi received money from San Marino’s intelligence agency for passing on crucial information on India’s page 3 scene to the San Maronese or San Maronian or whatever government. This information, of course, was never reported by our media. Wake up people.

Do you really want this guy to spearhead our pace attack? You don’t, right? Please throw the first stone. Yes..We are addressing the real issues. As true patriots, we must share this information on facebook. Can an Indian ever spearhead the pace attack for the San Marino cricket team? No, right? Then why is a San Maronian or a San Maronese or whatever spearheading the pace attack for India?

The country has gone to the pits. I am so concerned,that I blogged about it.

P.S. – This is just for fun. Please keep your political comments and philosophy for a forum that they well and truly deserve. Much respect.